Niggas

We chilled today. Woke up to Shizzam's phone call. Nigga was at mission. He left class early and I went to pick him up in my 2000 Corolla. Fuck your shit bitches, my car pushes 110 horses. Fuck your high school integs, heavy ass shit and you guys can only afford gs-rs. Get the type R then I'll shut up. Just kidding. My love for cars started in 4th grade. I did all of my research and found out the specs of a crap load of cars. But now, reality has set in and that reality is called insurance $$$.

But Shizzam and me headed back to my place. Chilled for a bit and talk to Michelle on aim. We went to go pick her up and went to In N Out. We grubbed and talked. Michelle doesn't talk much. That was the only thing that made me sad. I think my love for her gets deeper everytime I talk to her, but she doesn't talk.

After that, Chris' brother came to pick him up at In N Out. So it was just Michelle and me. She still wasn't up for talking, so the car ride was relatively quiet. But it was a good day. It was nice to see her too. That confused face that I love to look at. Fun Fun.

After that I headed to Oceans to meetup with MaryAnne. It breaks my heart to see her. I know for a fact that I can give her all the love in the world, only if she just gave me some back. Like usual, I tell her how I feel. All I get in return are laughs, because that's all I hear. To me those laughs sometimes sound like a "you ain't good enough" laugh. It's cool though. We had icecream, soup, and fries. Goodwill was also cool. But all in all, one thing remains obvious. You know what that is.

I now realize what "killing me softly" means.

Damn bruh. Your cousin is hot as hell.

Let's Hope So

One day, I'll understand

Franshya/K

Yeah, I know I messed up with her. I know exactly where I fucked up. But before that, let me explain to you the base of my many mistakes.

I know I'm ugly, ugly as hell. I'll admit it, I'm one of the most shallow people you'll ever meet. But sometimes, I can care less about how I look. I'm ugly as hell, I got nothing to lose right? Right Chris Nguyen.

Here it goes. She's pretty, cool as hell to chill with, and way out of my league. With her, no matter how high my confidence is, I can't always help but feel inadequate. At first, I didn't care what she thought about me, because I assumed at all times her thoughts about me were positive. Then, reality set in. I thought about the negative aspects of my personal self. One thing led to another and we stopped talking. End of story.



Or maybe it was when I started to miss her. My first love. If you think that's corny, then fuck you. I feel like I tried to find Krystle in Franshya. I'm sorry, if I could, I would go back and change that in a heartbeat. Really. But my feelings for Krystle haven't faded. Sometimes I feel like they're stronger than ever.

Her relationship with that one guy irritates me though. After we broke up, I wanted to apologize. For everything. I wanted to get on my knees and beg for you to forgive me. I loved you, and you told me you loved me. You told me this, while you were talking to him. I waited too long, and now there's nothing I can do.

We kill it all day, everyday.

Yeah

I've been chilling with Shizzam for the past week or two. Today was pretty good, came up on three shirts; all of which are pretty nice. After we got out of class, we headed on over to TJ MAXX. Crazy ass shit there. Nike SB shirts, Stussy shit, Volcom, yadiyada. Nabbed my shit and jetted to In n out where we saw a fat ass group of hot girls and weird ass guys. Typical right? After that we headed back to mission and took a dump. While we were handling our shit... No pun intended... Christian walks in and hears us giggling in the stalls next to him.

What a wonderful day.

Test

Took my history test today, Aced that shit. Finished my Essay. Then I chilled for a bit at Mission. Called up Shizzam Ngo and Christian to go chill. Walk/biked to Mexicali Grill and ate some chips and salsa. I ordered myself Mole Rojo; shit was weaak. Then we headed back to Mission to stoge. Walked around for a bit, then I bounced.

I didn't really feel like blogging today, I no longer feel the urge to complete my thoughts. The essay I wrote today killed me. Chill session tomorrow too.

Sweat

I need to get started on my history paper. I gotta write about some positive and negative influences of our founding fathers. No biographies, just their contributions. I really shouldn't procrastinate on this; but I find myself constantly finding other things to do that are not relevant to the task at hand. I need to prioritize my time and get things going. With that said, I'll start my paper tomorrow.

Now is the time.

Bored

I always feel inadequate. I know that's a very vague thing to say, but in all the aspects of my life, that's what it is. I can't help but feel envious of those who get to chill everyday with their friends, those who can drive, those who live in the same city as their friends, and all this other shit. I'm sick of it, everything seems to be building up and I honestly don't know how to handle it. I need to find something, because finding someone is out of the question.

Help